Everyone wishes they could change the past.

Saturday, 8 October 2011

aspires to ever-greater

Am I imprisoned? If so, it is a cage without bars; hardly a cage at all.
Day in, day out. The sun rises; the sun sets. The moon ascends to it's apex, and then tumbles to the ground once more. My eyes open; I get out of bed; I keep living the same day, over and over.

I wonder if this is a curse; enchantment; affliction. But I am doubtful; rather, I think it is the old feeling of being betwixt my beginning and my end. My experiences with the Strider, and then with A, as much as they mystify me, reminded me of my time spent wandering the streets of Great Britain, doing nothing but running.

Is this... is this what nostalgia feels like? But I'm so much happier now... why should I feel nostalgia for the worst time of my life, when I did nothing but fear closing my eyes, lest I not awaken?

... what is happening to me? Or, rather, what has happened to me? Why do I long for action, when tranquillity with Vanitas is so much more preferable? Why do I feel this aching sensation in my heart, also? Such stupid questions.

Oh, that reminds me. One of Vanitas' apartment-mates came around; given his name, I think I'll call him "Caelum" on here. Caelum said that they aren't expecting Vanitas back in the near future; she might be a few weeks this time. She's chasing a particularly elusive "Runner", apparently.

Should I feel bad about this...? God, I'm such a dithering idiot today. Maybe I need to do something to clear my head.
-Achromatic Morality-

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